Claire Westermeyer

After worrying myself to the point of insomnia, I have tried to step back and learn something from it.

Now, I am attempting to slow down and let things happen on their own instead of ‘deceptively’ manipulating it to happen faster or differently, as if I really could.

Waiting is not a very popular attitude. In fact, most people consider waiting a waste of time.

Perhaps this is because the culture in which we live is basically saying, “Get going! Do something! Show you are able to make a difference! Don’t just sit there and wait!”

For me, waiting is an awful desert between where I am and where I want to go. And I do not like such a place!

I want to get out of it by doing something, and in our particular historical situation, waiting is even more difficult because we are so fearful; fearful of what is to come.

It’s hard to say where I will be in the next 30 minutes, not to mention the next year, and it takes away my peace, leaving me afraid of what is to come.

What about our mood?

Where one comment can ruin or make a day, am I supposed to be shaken by small comments, or am I to be firm in my ground?

Being worried about what to do after graduation, what leadership position to interview for, or whether or not to study abroad, or being afraid of not starting varsity next season only distracts us from the present.

That is interesting because all we have is the present.

This fear, I would say, has dictated too much of our lives, too much of my life. Because I am not content with what is in my hands right now, I lack peace. 

At some point in my life, I bought the lie that right now, wasn’t enough. I bought that if I wanted something, I should have it, which certainly meant that I should be at unrest until I possessed it; this lifestyle only perpetuated anxiety with the current moment. 

Now, some define peace as the absence of war, others as freedom from disturbance or anxiety, or simply tranquility. While all of those, in a sense, are true, I found a quote that really struck me.

Baruch Spinoza, a Jewish philosopher, said, and I would agree, that  “peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice”.

Do we have this disposition, or are we, like so many, held captive by fear?

Claire Westermeyer is a junior from St. Louis, Mo. and is majoring is psychology and theology. She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it